Friendship

As a child I never really had more than just one really good best friend at a time, not because I couldn't make friends, that's just how I preferred things. I knew someone who constantly had to be surrounded by people in order to feel happy. I never could understand that. I wouldn't say I'm popular, nor do I have any need to be, but I feel like a have a good mixture of friends, and I've learned not to put everything on just one friend. For a while, when depressed, I had built a wall around myself, refusing to be a friend or to build any friendships. I'm slowly working on that. And my efforts have been greatly rewarding. I have been blessed. I am sad to see one of my friends doing the same (with the wall building thing). Those are almost impossible to break down, by the way. And it hurts. I am sorry to everyone whom I've done that to. Relationships are difficult and complicated. I'm constantly trying to evaluate where I stand with others and what I need to do to fix it. But there is only so much one person can do. In order to call it a real friendship, it has to be both sides coming to the middle. There is only so much one person can do. And to those of you who feel like you cant reach me, please fill the emptiness between us with forgiveness, and know that I am doing the best I possibly can right now. And I will do the same for you. It is much easier to fill the empty space by building a friendship than it is to build a wall. I love all of my wonderful true friends.